what's the difference between efficient sex and amazing sex?

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EFFICIENT SEX AND AMAZING SEX? 

 

There is a little-known piece of research by Masters and Johnson (called Persons Studied in Pairs) during the 1970s that looked qualitatively (i.e. asking participants for their own opinions and feelings) at the question of what makes for truly amazing sex.

 

Masters and Johnson were world-leaders when it came to the early scientific study of sex. They wanted to gain an insight into what factors make up great sex. They compared short and long-term couples and gay/lesbian and straight couples. The short-lived couples were so short-lived that they met at the research centre and were paired up by Masters and Johnson.

 

Masters and Johnson concluded that sex could be seen as efficient or amazing. Efficient sex is uninhibited and goal-directed. Both partners could orgasm but it was not valued as special or out of the ordinary by participants.

 

The stranger couples were more likely to have efficient sex. From talking to many people about sex, I would agree that casual short-lived encounters can be pleasurable, can lead to orgasm but it is rare to experience truly mind-blowing sex with someone you do not know very well. I think people want to be seen as sexually impressive when they first meet. They want to show what they can do and this concentration on athleticism and performance is a recipe for efficient but not necessarily great sex.

 

The long-term couples were more likely to report amazing sex. The best sex of all was had by gay and  lesbian couples. The factors identified by Masters and Johnson as making up an amazing sexual experience are probably just the same now as they were 40+ years ago. 

 

• to have amazing sex you have to take your time. With couples who sexually teased each other, moved slowly and lingered at each step of arousal, people said that the sex was special and extraordinary. All the long-term couples took longer and teased more than the new couples. 
• being able to feel turned on by your partner's sexual pleasure is another factor. Experiencing the power and pleasure of another's arousal proved highly exciting for those people reporting the best sex. Straight men in particular seemed to be sometimes quite mechanical in their arousal strategy (according to their partners)and rarely reported a sense of 'losing their self' in the sexual experience that many gay and lesbian participants felt. 
• being aware of your partner's precise level of sexual excitation adds another layer of the extraordinary to their experience. This means that you can stop-start and build arousal and suspend your partner in a pre-orgasmic state to heighten eventual orgasm (when you allow it!) 
• focusing attention on the whole body also feels good. Straight men and women tended to focus almost exclusively on their partner's genital area. Gay and lesbian couples lavished attention on the whole of their partner's body.
• the gay and lesbian couples talked more, communicated more openly about what they enjoyed, what they wanted more of. Open sexual communication is essential. You can never expect that your signature sex move (if you have one!) is going to work on everyone.

 

 

If we all learnt to lavish attention on our partner's entire body, were able to lose ourselves in sex and lose the idea of sex being something of a performance judged by the presence or absence of orgasm, took the time to learn about about our partner's arousal cycle so we can suspend him/her in pre-orgasmic delight, then we and our partners would all be much much happier.

Comments

[Alexis]

wow , an amazing blog :) Kudos ..