venturesque

NEW coaching programme: the sex, self and spirit package

COMING SOON

NEW COACHING PROGRAMME: THE SEX, SELF AND SPIRIT PACKAGE


This programme is unique in the UK.

Look our for full details coming up in February 2008.


My newly designed coaching programme will be available in early Spring. It is a 3 month course of coaching that can be taken between March until June. After that I will be about to give birth and will re-evaluate my coaching hours when I know how best to fit coaching in life with a new baby!

You get 3 sessions per month and each session will focus ona specific aspect of sex, self or spirit.
After working with many clients, I have been able to identify these 3 areas as having the most significant impact upon the quality and quantity of your sex life.

FULL DETAILS will be sent out in February. For those of you who would like to register your interest, send me an email at tara@aragoncoaching.co.uk and I will ensure that you will be first to be sent the information.

I can assure you that taking part in this programme will support you to:

be excited by your own sexual potential
expand your capacity for pleasure and enjoyment
develop your confidence
increase your sexual energy
make sure that the rest of your life supports your sexual growth
communicate more successfully with partner
experience the personal strength that comes from taking responsibility for your own choices
banish a blame and shame culture from your relationship
create a new, fun and inspiring sexual persona
atttract what and who you want into your life
understand your own arousal triggers
explore what you want from a relationship
know what you have to offer a partner
develop a compassionate and affectionate relationship with your body
find out how to bring more joy, optimism and purpose into your life

The programme is suitable for:

people who are single
people who are in relationship.
people who are ready to commit time and energy to exploring their sexual well-being, improving their relationship or finding a partner who can add to your happiness.
The programme varies slightly according to whether your focus is on sex, relationship or singles issues. This is discussed during an introductory chat that I have with all new clients.

I have created a series of exercises for you to do between sessions as well as working with you to try out new ways of thinking and behaving.

Remember this programme is unique in the UK.

If you would can't wait and would like more details before then, email me with any questions and I will make sure you receive full details as soon they become available.

welcome the new year

2008 is probably the first year in many in which I actually started the year feeling full of energy. My normal January state of mind tends towards the sluggish and listless. But not now.
Partly this is to do with officially entering the second pregnancy trimester, which means that nausea and extreme fatigue recede and I now feel more 'me' and less like a host for some inconsiderate parasite that is sucking the life and energy out of me. Not the most idealised version of early pregnancy but true for me. The most difficult thing I found was the total lack of energy and need for sleep, when I would much rather be working. The ways that I got through this, apart from phoning my friends with children and begging them to reassure me how great kids are, is by (1) being kind to myself and not indulging my guilty feelings of resentment at being taken over by another 'potential' life (2) having to accept the way I was feeling and stop fighting it and (3) visualising a future when I will be able to get back to work and feel alive and enthusiastic again.

Hey baby,baby

Oh my God, I'm going to have a baby. These were the words that greeted the sight of the thin blue of my pregnancy test. I even did it twice as I could not quite believe it. I found out about 5 weeks ago and am now in week 10 of the pregnancy. The baby is due July 9 2008. Without doubt this is the most massive and life-changing experience of my life so far.

My partner and I have been together almost 15 years. Our 15 year anniversary is early January next year and I did not expect to be spending it about 3 and a half months pregnant. My 40th birthday? Next March and nearly 6 months pregnant. So much for my ideas of horse riding bonanzas somewhere hot and mountainous.
We had talked about having children and decided that we lacked the courage to actually choose to and the future we had planned out did not include children. So think again and start thinking about an entirely different future.

What To Do With A Cock Ring?

Cock rings are rings that slide over the penis and rest at the base, wrapping around the shaft and testicles. It will prevent blood draining out of the penis with the therefore quite predictable consequence that the wearer's staying power will improve as well as leading to an increase in sensation for both of you. There are some things you need to know to make sure this remains a pleasurable and not a painful experience.

The art of sensual massage

If you would like to feel more in touch with your own adn your partner's sexuality, massage is a fantstic way to reconnect and slow down your sexuality. Many unsatisfactory sexual routines evolve when people get into the habit of rushing into sex. Desire become frenetic and expressed in snatched moments of time. Sex becomes more about orgasm than pleasure. Massage can help. Sadly many clients groan when they hear this! Why?

Find Your Sex Hot Spots

I'll come clean at the beginning and tell you that this post is mainly about female anatomy. Sex researchers do seem to spend a great deal of time looking a the physiological aspects of female sexual functioning and are keen to locate various orgasm buttons that will ignite passion and turn sex into wild abandonment.Your physiology is but a small part of your sexual response but trying to find these Sex Spots can help you learn about your own body, other people's bodies and, when done in a spirit of and exploration, improve communication, confidence and self-acceptance.

Let's start with something that we all know about. For the sake of this post's theme, I shall call it the C-spot - the clitoris. The clitoris is the pleasure button. It doesn't seem to DO anything other than make the difference between orgasm and no orgasm for the majority of women.

Giving Sex Coaches a Bad Name

I do seem to use this blog as a place to rant about things that have annoyed me rather than as the home for tips, tricks and fascinating articles. This is something that I do intend to do something about. But not today. DId anybody see a Channel 4 series that was aired about a month ago? It was about people trying to lose their virginity. Really interesting stuff. I liked that the programme brought out that sometimes men's needs for sex can mask intense emotional needs - the need to be cuddled, kissed rather than an urge to be highly sexual all the time. I find in my work that men can have a hard time facing up to the fact that they feel a need for a degree of psychological safety/intimacy during sexual encounters, which they perceive as a something to be ashamed of; as not matching up to a spurious 'masculine' ideal of cool, calm and detached male sexuality.

Summer Away Day

Last Friday saw the completion of my happy involvement in Judith Morgan's year-long business growth and coaching programme.After a year of gaining clarity, improving my focus, thinking big and then thinking even bigger, we all ended our journey with a day of discussion, sharing and planning for our futures. As is often the case for me, my insights and awareness tend to appear to me a couple of days after the initial questions. So what did I learn?

show them who you are

Playing hard to get. Yes, it's an old chestnut of contention in the dating game but one that I feel inspired to address today.  I was idly looking at articles whilst submitting some to an article bank and came across a piece of writing that gleefully fuelled the male as predator, women as prey stereotype. Women, the writer informs us, are 'weird creatures' but this need not be too much of a concern as this is 'in their natures'. He then goes to say that he conducted a survey amongst 10 of his friends. Alarmingly, but not surprisingly, 8 out of 10 of them would not 'cherish' a girl unless she played hard to get. Perhaps there would be less confusion if he tried to understand a woman instead of generalising about all women? How can there be rules for ALL of any group? Who chose these rules? And why can't we value somebody for who they are and how they make us feel rather than feeling that we ought to judge them by how long they make us wait to get into their knickers or trousers?

What this comes down to is - whose rules are you operating by? Your own or a set of preconceived stereotypes, which are based on outmoded ideas about male and femlale sexuality. As I see it 'playing' hard to get isn't much fun if it domiantes and controls how we act and how we make decisions.It's less a playing field and more of a battlefield.

When I coach clients, I often come across their many and varied sets of rules. Not just about the correct amount of time to wait before having sex but about what and what not to talk about, when and whether to get in touch and then whether to phone, to text or to e-mail. When we could be excited about the possibilities of connecting with someone we do not know, we are worried whether we are following the rules. There is a huge difference between entering into a new relationship stressing over 'what should I do next?' and wondering 'what do I want to do next?'I loathe these rules that tell us we must police our own actions and disguise our true feelings from other people in case they are too scared of our honesty and clarity.

Sex Lessons

Although this post is titled Sex Lessons, I am not going to be teaching you anything. For a start, most people's sexual concerns can be resolved by finding their own solutions. You are always going to be the best person to work out what you need to change to make things better. I do have a question though.

I am trying to figure out why it is that so many people expect that the skills and mindset you need to create and maintain a happy and pleasurable sexual relationship either cannot or do not need to be coached.  When I tell people that I am a sex coach, it is not unusual to be met with bemusement, and scepticism and people saying 'but isn't that a counselling /therapy issue?' This had me baffled for a while. There are niche coaches in almost every area of life imaginable, so why do people seem to resist the idea that sex can be coached? We would all be a lot happier with our sex lives if we realised that there is nothing wrong with working to resolve a sexual problem.

I work with people to help them find sexual happiness so I know that sex coaching works. One of the first things that needs to be addressed in sex coaching is mindset. Specifcally the beliefs, values and expectations that you have about sex and relationships. According to a recent survey by the Journal of Marital and Sexual Therapy, 1 out of 4 of us are

who's been sleeping in your head?

Brett Kahr is a Freudian psychotherapist who claims that sexual fantasy is at the root of sexual anxiety.He has just published Sex and the Psyche, in which he catalogues and interprets the mental arousal patterns of 18000 people. As far as I am concerned it is not sexual fantasy itself that is the source of sexual anxiety but the feelings and meanings that we attach to our fantasies and our dread of sharing and revealing aspects of our sexual being to someone else. Why is it that the people that we are most intimate with often have no idea what is going on in our heads?

When I was researching my PhD into gender and popular music culture, I interviewed many young women about their fantasies about their favourite bands/artists. What came out of our conversations was how much self-talk has the power to interfere with some people's most private sexual fantasies.